38 weeks and 5 days.  That’s how long it took to prepare me for the biggest transformation of my life.  Over the coming year, I am so excited that Me Ra has invited me to share this ever evolving journey with you–to inspire you with baby photo tips, new mom “a-ha” moments, and all the in between in a weekly column called First Year.  But since this is the first post, here is where it all began.

I began a new journey this past spring, one that was to be the most incredible journey I will ever come to know.  Some days the journey was tough and trying, but all days were filled with excitement and anticipation for the single moment I would instinctively take on a new role, the role I had been anxiously awaiting for.

38 weeks and 5 days came along on January 5th, 2013.  At 2:06pm, I finally welcomed my little Logan Leigh Tacbas into the world, held her lovingly in my arms, looked deep into her beautiful eyes and became her mother.  I cannot accurately describe to you the overwhelming sense of love I felt for this tiny baby, all 7.1 pounds and 19 inches of her.  I looked at my husband in disbelief, trying to make sense of the fact that he and I had created this beautiful little human.

When she was whisked away from me to complete her newborn assessment, I felt as if she was gone an eternity.  Those few moments were the only ones she and I had been apart since the beginning of this journey, from when she began to grow inside of me.  As soon as she was brought back to me – only a few minutes later – I breathed a deep sigh of relief as I held her.  She was finally mine.

Here it is, 8 weeks later, and I still look at her in disbelief and wonderment.  I have re-fallen in love with her every day since the day she was born.  And I also continually fall in love all over again with my incredible husband, Jason, who has walked along side me on this journey, and who I watched effortlessly transform into an amazing father from the very beginning.

My heart is so full.  Everything in my life has new meaning.  I cannot even begin to put into words the beauty and the goodness of this transition into motherhood, but I know that I do not need words – everything that I feel with my heart, with my whole being, silently makes perfect sense.

38 weeks and 5 days.  That’s how long I had to wait to meet my daughter, to transform into a mother, to become complete.

January 5th, 2013: The beginning of a new journey, and the best day of my life.

As I share this journey with you over the next year, I would love to open up the dialogue.  If there is ever a photo you see that you have a question about, don’t hesitate to ask in the comments.  Or if there is a memory that my post reminds you of, please tell!  The wisdom of moms who have gone before me and the excitement of those who love baby photography are things I can’t get enough of.

For starters, what are the first two or three words that come to mind when describing the moment your own transformation happened?

First Year Cheers,

Jen

13 Comments: “First Year: My Transformation”

  1. [...] Travel on over to Me Ra’s blog to read my first post – First Year: My Transformation. [...]

  2. Neyssa says:

    Thank you for sharing, Jen! Such a beautiful story, and beautiful photos. I look forward to following the journey of your first year of motherhood!

  3. Me Ra Koh says:

    YAY!!! Jen, your first post is live for FIRST YEAR! What a honor to have you share each week!

    My three words when Pascaline was born…
    exhausted, relieved, READY! (READY is the funniest word b/c I had no idea what I was headed into!)

    xoxox,
    m

  4. Jennifer Tacbas says:

    Hi, ladies! I enjoyed reading the words you chose to describe YOUR transformation into motherhood! My 3 words are zen, beautiful and fun. I am laughing at my word choices because all through the pregnancy, I was convinced I was going to have an absolutely HORRIBLE labor. I’m so glad I was wrong! I was so focused and “in the zone” when I labored at home before we left for the hospital, I was able to pack, take a shower, and clean the nursery while I waited for my contractions to get closer together! I felt so beautiful all throughout my pregnancy, but nothing topped how beautiful I felt when I held Logan for the first time. And yep, I actually had FUN during my birthing experience! Call me crazy, but I loved every minute of it! (Well, minus the intense back contractions right before my epidural. Could have done without those. Ha!)

    Thanks so much for reading my post today. I look forward to meeting up with you all again next Monday. Until then, have a wonderful week!

  5. Suzanne says:

    Congratulations, Jen! I love how you said you had fun during your birthing experience because I did, too! I videotaped the births of two of my last two babies…and I mean I was the one holding the camera! I guess I’ve always been pretty good at multitasking!! Your photos so far have been gorgeous, and I look forward to following your journey as you and Logan continue to experience all of the firsts this magical year brings.

  6. Jess Robertson says:

    Joy, relief, elation! Love you girl! Can’t wait to follow this amazing journey of yours :)