It was Friday night, I was working on the SOAR! Announcement while Brian and the kids had gone out to grab something to eat. We were close so many times, and then we were set back again and again. But this time, it really was ready. I was so excited, so thrilled, hated that the announcement was late, but still so excited! I couldn’t wait to hear what you all thought. I wanted all of you to know and witness how seriously we had taken your dreams, so serious that we would fly out to the three Recipients. The SOAR! announcement was now going live. And then the first few responses came in—direct emails to me. And they were not what I expected.
They were angry emails with horrible, hurt filled words. Not what I expected. I had told myself to be ready for the disappointment that a contest with only three recipients can’t avoid, but I wasn’t prepared at all. I walked away from the computer, utterly exhausted, having been on five flights in the last three days, and I sat on the floor and cried. Instead of celebrating, I couldn’t stop crying. And in those next couple hours, I doubted every thing about my ability to do anything we do.
And here is the biggest thing. The more I cried, the more convinced I felt that I needed to walk away from all of this. Can anyone relate? The amount of tears must measure how I am not cut out to handle the criticism and disappointment. I have noticed this last year that the bigger we grow, the more exposure we gain, the critics seem to be louder than ever. It may be less than 5%, but I’ve never handled hurtful words well. My therapist of 15 yrs. can tell you why. :)
So why do I think I can do any of this? The truth. I’m often not sure that I can. Fearless leader? Far from it. Quite often the opposite. More like…full of fear but for some reason decides to keep trying despite all the voices.
I woke up Saturday morning with swollen eyes. I know I’m not the only one. I wanted to hide in a cave. At 11am I had a scheduled business coaching session with Karen. Perfect timing. She could confirm that I was in over my head on all accounts. That the day job for Brian and “stay at home mom” for me was the wiser choice. The phone call started, and she asked to me to start from the beginning. All I could do was cry. I felt so broken. So alone. So disillusioned. So disappointed with myself. And if I was meant to do this, wouldn’t I feel the opposite? What about the champagne?
Karen gently led me to the calm waters of my soul. She acknowledged that we now know I need new structures of support that deal with this intense dynamic in our business. She advised that the next time, I not be allowed to see any comments or emails the first 24-48 hrs.—good or bad. And she reminded me that this was necessary because I never started SOAR! for the praise filled comments. I had a vision that I believe God gave me. I wrote it down, and as I wrote it down the vision took flight and became something I can never take full credit for.
She also reminded me that my tears are not a sign of weakness. That I put 110% of my heart into what I do, and I have to expect my heart to be vulnerable—so how to protect it better the next time…this would be a focus in the next few months. And then she said, “Me Ra, your playing a bigger game and have run into the next level of work for your spirit and feminine wisdom. And so have all the women who entered the SOAR! Scholarship. They are all playing a bigger game by voicing their dreams. And being able to handle disappointment when we hit the next level…this is crucial to growing our business but more so…ourselves.”
I told her I wanted to hide in a cave. I couldn’t find any courage, any energy. She suggested that I go into the cave, but not to hide—but to replenish. And so ladies, I’m sharing this with you because it’s the truth of what happened for me Friday night. This is as much of a journey for me as you. And I’m terrified of this new level I’ve hit, as Karen would phrase—and yet, I know that it’s okay to be afraid and still move forward at the same time—one step at a time.
So I went into the cave this weekend to replenish. I took a two hour walk with the dog and found myself on hill tops with sweeping views and then sometimes in thick wooded areas where right from left all looked the same. I hid in a dark movie theatre by myself, and let my brain shut off. I felt the comfort that darkness can bring. I read a chic flick type book, I took long hot showers, I fell asleep on the couch by the Christmas tree, and I slept 12 hrs. Friday night and almost 14 hrs. Saturday. I played the Wii with my kids, and then took us out to Korean food—the comfort food of my childhood. And I think that as the hours of the weekend passed, I slowly loved on myself to where I could be here today. I found myself recalling this Self Portrait from the 2009 Discovery Workshop.
Is is an image that represents all the grace and Great love I have for myself. No that others have for me, but that I possess for myself. I so often battle my self critic, but to find the Great love for me—this is was my quest. The truth of this Self Portrait is what I made my way back to. And not so I could just be here today, but feel thankful to be here. And even feel a little more courage than the fear. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t have to be a ton of courage, just enough to tip the scale.
SOAR! has already changed us all in so many ways. And I am humbled by this truth. Kabir wrote, “Wherever you are is the entry point!” Here I am today, here you are, here are the three beautiful and brave SOAR! Recipients, the courageous SOAR! Sisters who didn’t become a recipient, the SOAR! Supporters that watched and cheered us all along, and the future SOAR! Sisters…here we all are. We come and face this new day with hands full of dreams, disappointments, tears, deep fears, and deep hope. And we face our entry point together.
All of a sudden it is clear that the toughest point may not have be singled to entering your video or not entering. The toughest point may be this moment—do you go forward or stay?
I couldn’t have gone forward on my own. Without Brian’s unending love, I am lost. Without Jeff Jochum’s constant belief in me and advice, my doubts would get the best of me. Without Karen and Fay, I lose sight of my Feminine Wisdom. Without my kids, I don’t laugh enough. And the list goes on and on. This week is the time to pull away, love yourself back to life, and gather time with those that support you.
Karen and Fay have HUGE hearts for women. They have fallen in love with all of you, and this is no exaggeration. They want to offer two gifts to everyone who has been impacted by SOAR! A rich, wonderful, wise workbook that holds many of the questions Karen first asked me a couple years ago. And they have also offered a Tele-Class call, free of charge—a gift to all of you, to help gather your Confidence if it’s wobbling right now. It sounds like some of you have already gone through the IGNITE ebook and have made wonderful discoveries. I’ll tell you—these two ladies are amazing. All the details of how to access both gifts are below. (Thank you Karen and Fay for being so giving to this community.)
My little Pascaline has oral surgery today, so my attention will be with Pascaline over the next few days. But, I’m excited for you to get to know our three beautiful, SOAR! Recipients; Linda, Jennifer and Lindsay. To have time with each one this last week, get to know them, hear their stories…they are strong women who are courageously taking on the task of sharing their journey over the next year with all of you. I’ve asked each one to write a first blog post for this week called “Initial Thoughts”. Over the next three days, you will get to meet Linda, Jennifer, and Lindsay, and have the opportunity to connect with them here.
For our local Seattle community, Sony has invited me to do a Sony Style Store Tour stop on Wednesday evening, January 20th. It will be at the Sony Style Store in U Village. Mark your calendars. There will be more details to come. I’m very excited to see you there. Stay tuned!
This week I’m going to be stepping away from front and center to care for my little one and allow beautiful women to share their lives with you. Whether it’s the wisdom you’ll gain from Wednesday’s Tele-Class with Karen and Fay, or the genuine blog posts from our SOAR! Recipients, you will be blessed.
And most of all, I hope that in being honest with you this morning, you know that you are not alone. You are not alone as you muster courage to keep moving forward. I leave you today with words from Julia Cameron that fed my soul this week;
“Remember that your Skeptic is the dragon at the gate. The riches you are seeking lie within. You must evade, even slay, your Skeptic to enter your heart. And yet your Skeptic is not your enemy. Your Skeptic is the adversary that will make you strong. Each time you grapple with your doubt…each time you choose to actualize rather than theorize your creativity, you will move ahead.”
xo, Me Ra
p.s. Wrap your arms around you and squeeze while picturing me giving you a BIG hug for the 70 plus comments you left Friday. I did make my way to reading them all, and I appreciate your words so much. So very much.
p.s.s. Do you know what the most ironic part of this whole weekend was? My bathroom ceiling caved in from all the rain on Friday night. Just freaking fell to the floor! Sheetrock, plaster and all! I can see that it goes higher than the drywall—higher than I thought. Not great news for our bathroom, but very good news for the ceiling I hit in my own heart.
Details for the Two Gifts from Karen and Fay
1. Ignite your Feminine Wisdom: A workbook for energizing wise feminine leadership e-book
CLICK BELOW!
https://www.wisdomconnection.biz/products/ignite_workbook_energizing_wise_feminine_leadership
This is a NO cost gift for the SOAR! Sisters and the SOAR! Support Network until Wednesday, January 13 at 12 noon PST. Enjoy some journaling and personal reflection while you build your inner joy, stability, and wisdom – a platform for all kinds of business success!
2. What to Do When Your Confidence Wobbles—A Complimentary Tele-Class for SOAR! Sisters and the SOAR! Support Network!
Karen and Fay share their 7 best tricks and tips to turn the wobble into a graceful dance.Tools you learn are applicable to building a steady, sustainable business and all around fantastic life.
CLICK BELOW!
http://www.wisdomconnection.biz/event/empowered-women-with-confidence-SOAR!-MeRaKoh
Special note from Karen and Fay:
Our Tele-Classes are usually $29.95 – but because we want to support everyone on Me Ra’s blog (SOAR! Sisters and SOAR! Supporters), especially the ladies that found the courage to submit their SOAR! Videos – we are offering it to you as a second gift on January 13th at Noon PST for FREE. Register Today!
Me Ra and Brian,
Good grief! For the most part, I believe people are inherently good and capable of acting like adults, but when I hear nonsense like this story it is truly disheartening. It befuddles me that you and the rest of your team went waaaay out on a limb to enourage and lift up women and instead of being gracious and EXCITED for the women who received the incredible opportunity, some chose to act like pouty children! Give me a break! Not that I have any idea what the e-mails said, but I’m great at voicing my opinion with partial facts. Ha!
I remember when a certain workshop participant had an incredible opportunity with a certain talk show goddess. I was floored by some of the “woe is me” comments filled with bitterness. Looking at joyful situations with a sour heart is such a waste. It’s so simple, but the greatest antidote to jealously is a grateful heart!
I SO very much enjoyed watching the videos and dreaming about the places these women will go. Not only the winners, but all the women who submitted their videos and humbled themselves to apply for the chance to SOAR. Motivation and courage is a huge part of a success and they all took a huge step forward. I was so impressed with all of them! I pray they will all continue with their photography journey. It’s such a healing and giving art and it’s a wonderfully supportive community!
Me Ra, Brian, and the rest of the generous SOAR team, bravo! Well done good and faithful servants!
I simply want to thank you for the entire SOAR! experience thus far. I have learned so much about myself as a person and have been awakened out of a slumber into new excitement, commitment and dedication to the dreams in my own heart. If you can dare to put yourself out there on a wild ride to fulfill a vision, so can I. If I can be re-energized to go after my audacious goals, so can other women. So all of this, through all the rough around the edges parts, just leaves me grateful in ways beyond measure – to Yahweh, to the ones that call me friend, to the new sisters I have found, and to you.
Me Ra, I am so glad you took the time to replenish and gather your own peace again. Your honesty refreshes me, as I doubt myself all the time in almost all situations. It’s a terrible burden, but it’s also the catalyst of change in my life. Seeing someone who is living our their dreams in such a big way, it’s easy to believe that you got there easily or with great confidence. To know that you struggle like the rest of us, like me… well, it makes me respect you more. And I already respected you a lot, so that’s really saying something! You have more than a gift — you have a charism, truly. To unite and strengthen & encourage all around you, whether they are near or far in proximity. Be well, take care of you and yours, and keep trusting the path you choose for yourself. I’ll be praying for speedy recovery of your lovely Pascaline.
MeRa and Brian..
People never cease to amaze me. I understand the disappointment of not winning, but to berate and criticize the very people that provided the opportunity seems pretty childish and hateful. You two have huge hearts and that leaves you wide open for hurt. I am so sorry that you have been this hurt especially over something that you created to make other’s lives better.
Sending you peaceful and healing thoughts..
MeRa, beautiful message. I only have one question, for the free information, it asks for a credit card for the downloads, can that be avoided? I do not feel comfortable inserting my credit card information. Thanks and God bless!
Me Ra-
Thank you for your honesty. You are open and courageous and giving and caring and inspiring AND willing to learn. I admire you so much. Thank you for this post, thank you for reaching out…
I hope Pascaline’s recovery is quick and that her pain is small.
Blessings,
Melissa
I’ve been trying to enter the free offers you mentioned for Soar participants but it keeps refusing to process it for me. I had to enter a credit card # which confused me but it still won’t take my order/request for the 2 free items. Please help me :0
Heather
Wow, all I can say is that my heart sank when I read that. People can be terrible sometimes. Hang in there and remember who and what are most important in your life, you gave an incerdible gift to many women.
Take care of your sweet Pascaline and know that many are thinking of you.
Hugs!
Me Ra,
Remember your blog post about Pascaline’s shark dream? You need to focus on the joy and peacefulness of the swim, not on the sharks!
Thank you for your heart for women and mom’s, regardless if they ever pick up a camera. It is so obvious how much you love to see women brought into light and confidence and a place where they can stretch and grow and be vulnerable. SOAR is more than a photography opportunity – it’s turned into SO much more, because of YOU, Me Ra. There are people and resources that are coming together now at lightning speed, not because we all wanted a cute camera bag and some free gear, but because finding a community of women who can encourage and strengthen each other is SO appealing and SO necessary.
Rest, relax, snuggle that little girl of yours all week long, and don’t listen to those sharks who want to bring you down.
Thank you for the encourangement you’ve given me over the last 2 years. I’m so happy and blessed to know you.
Love,
Lauren
So sorry to hear that! Think strong and you will get through.. With any kind of growth comes exposure..exposing yourself to more people means that many more will criticize. Just know that so much of that criticism comes from people’s own fear and disappoinment and sadness..you unfortunately are their outlet this time. Stay strong and focused and remember that for every critical person there are so many more that are protecting and guarding your journey with unending support…why? because YOUR journey has enabled so many of us to believe in our hearts and minds that our (my) dreams are possible. And those are the people that keep you lifted!
I am sorry that some felt the meed to refocus their disappointment in nastiness toward you. It was an amazing opportunity that we would all not have had the chance to dream about had it not been for the goodness of your heart toward women. I understand disappointment…I had a good cry myself and feelings of just not being good enough yet again. I am sure a lot of us had feelings of sadness mixed with excitement for the finalists. It’s our choice now what we do with that…do we use it as fuel to hurt someone else or to challenge ourselves to SOAR alongside the finalists.
My prayer for myself and everyone else is the latter. This was a great opportunity for al of us to take a look at ourselves and believe that we can SOAR. WE are all winners because we took a step to believe that it was possible.
I thank you MeRa and God for that blessing in my life through this opportunity. Please don’t let bitterness veer you from this journey…I’m already looking forward to next year!!!! LOL:)
Me Ra,
I am SO sorry that you had some people say such horrible, hurtful things to you. I can’t fathom that anyone would–could–be so horrid to you, one of the most supportive, encouraging people I “know”. You are such an inspiration to me, not just because of your fabulous photography, but more for your loving, giving, supportive attitude of everyone that gets on your blog or the SOAR website. That does not come naturally to me, and being on the receiving end of your generosity reminds me that I want to emulate you and make others feel good about themselves as you do for us.
I didn’t win. Big deal. Not that I’m not disappointed, but life goes on. I’m still an emerging photographer. I’m still. Going. To. Do. It. Maybe I won’t have your personal help and the help that comes from so many others that this opportunity came with, but there are other resources. Others need to realize that.
You know what’s funny? I was a little relieved I DIDN’T win. That would mean facing my fear of flying, which I absolutely would have done, no questions asked, had I won. But I probably would have given myself an ulcer worrying about it! 😉
Okay, I got a little sidetracked there, because I was supposed to be encouraging and supporting YOU for once, not sharing my fear of flying. Anyway, please know this: no matter what negative words people may throw your way, the VAST majority of us here love you and are incredibly thankful for all you do. I mean, I’m still amazed that a fabulous, famous, busy photographer takes the time to give us almost daily pointers and exercises to help our skills grow. There are local photographers who won’t give me the time of day, let alone answer my questions. You are a truly special woman.
One last thing, a favor. Could you do a blog post on taking photos for an outdoor wedding? I’d love to know what kind of flash/diffuser you use when there’s no wall or ceiling to bounce the light off. It would be very much appreciated.
Again, thanks Me Ra, for all you do for us. If you were close I’d give you a big hug, so maybe ask Brian to do it for me! ;-D
We love ya girl!
Lisa
I am sad and very disappointed to hear about people leaving such awful emails…….this was a contest and they knew going in it that there would be 3 woman that would be chosen…….Yes, I was disappointed because I too wanted this very much, but as soon as I heard the announcement I moved on….I, have much to do and could not dwell for a moment what I didn’t get….but focused on what I did get……which is a plan…..as I was making my application it was becoming clear to me what I have to do and how to go about it……I know I have to build my business, and although it would have been wonderful to have the resources…..I know I can still do it myself, and in addition we have these 3 great recipients that we can follow…and of course you. I feel bad for you, because you are hurting, but please don’t listen to hateful people. I was unable to view any of the other videos as they were being posted and I just last night sat down and watched the 3 that were chosen; I have to say I felt better, because it confirmed to me that they were just as deserving as I was, ….as you have said time and time again….we were all winners……Me Ra in our glorious lives, we have so many emotions, I have been there myself, when I have done my best work, but someone is negative……well it hurts, but as you know it should never stop you…………..continue to SOAR……..
I’m so sorry you’ve been through such a roller coaster of emotions. The negative comments you received are an indication of how much people care about SOAR, and are therefore a testament to what an amazing thing you are doing. Yes, there are a lot of disappointed women out here…but you have pushed us to really think about our dreams and face our fears, and that is an incredible gift. I know that there will be many more than three women SOARing this year, and I look forward to following everyone’s journeys. Thank you so much for being so open, honest and vulnerable and for giving so many of us the strength and courage to try to follow your example.
I am commenting now with my heartfelt thanks for your beautiful dream and all your work creating this wonderful opportunity. I was one of the women who submitted a video and was waiting for the results on Friday night. Once I heard the results, I wanted to leave you this comment of thanks, but it was late and I was tired and my husband was already in bed without me. I now regret that I didn’t. I hate that the first comments you read were hurtful ones.
I have had the experience of putting 100% of my heart into something and then not having that “something” appreciated or acknowledged. It wasn’t quite the magnitude of your SOAR scholarship, but, I, too, cried many tears of hurt over it. I, too, was thankful for a wonderful husband whose support and love helped my heart heal.
I had never heard of or been to your blog before the announcement of the SOAR scholarship. I have since found a wonderful community of women. Thank you for this opportunity and for following your dreams!
Mera,
I am so blessed by what you are doing. Although of course disappointed that I was not a recipient, I know that God has a plan and purpose for my life and that He will fulfill it in His way, and in His timing! The reality is that when I applied, I trusted God to help you select the people whom He had chosen, whether or not it was me. I wanted Him to give you wisdom, and strength and courage to choose from hundreds of applicants, the one’s He knew needed it the most. And as I started to view the videos of those other women, I realized that there were many that certainly NEEDED this more than I. I could see that there were women who were broken and needed the hope of a future that this could offer. I have been blessed beyond all measure already, and I can’t wait to see the transformations that will happen in each of these women’s lives. You are a woman of grace and worth, and I pray God’s peace and protection on you as you walk in His glorious light!
I have been there…
I can only imagine the piece-of-coal-for-a-heart inside the people who attacked you. I hope they find a way to make ammends, but they probably won’t. So, here are my hugs reaching out to you. I saw a glimmer of the work and the effort you put into this scholarship and the big “reveal” and, it was AWESOME. And like I said before, you need to win your own “Running on Empty” contest….
I love you and I will always be on your team.
Now, about that ceiling. From one former English teacher to another…. can you say METAPHOR!!????!?!?! Wowee….
mera,
i can’t believe that people would write such hurtful things about such an awesome program. i am glad that GOD has surrounded you with wonderful people during these hard times. will pray for you and this SOAR program every day this week.
xoxo – and go help yourself to another serving of kimchee and kalbi… 🙂
Dear Me Ra,
I was stunned when I read what you wrote. I’m sure everyone who wasn’t chosen was disappointed, but I guessed everyone would feel somewhat like I did, “Wish it had been me but wow what an opportunity for those ladies..and we get to watch and I’m sure learn, too!”
Obviously, you did right by not choosing those people who would write things like that…they weren’t wanting to soar, they wanted to control!
You have a support group, from the top on down. When you start feeling like you can’t…look around…we’re here supporting you and encouraging you! You CAN! This will be great.
Hi! I think the contest was an amazing opportunity for women to participate in a unique way to showcase their talent and to have their videos received by wonderful comments from women with similar interests. It is a shame you received negativity from the announcement of the winners. I thought the video announcement was touching and inspiring.
In times when I feel the weight of negativity from others I think of this quote:
“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” -Pablo Picasso
Photography is one medium… but you are also creating art with a different medium, and that is your choice and actions to try to inspire women in a variety of ways. Thank you! 🙂
Me Ra,
Wow…all I saw were positive comments on your site after the announcement. So, the fact that those people sent you negative comments directly through your email was so cowardly. They knew if they commented on your blog they would be attacked by those who care for you & support you. Keep putting yourself out there…you are loved! Oh, and I love the dragon skeptic quote…Love.It!
On December 28th I left these words in the comments on your blog.
“Knowing the kind of heart you have, I can bet that you will be wrestling with a desire to mentor and give to all of us. Just know that you already have given each of us something precious and you can only bestow three scholarships and a year’s worth of learning to all the followers. The rest is up to us.”
I too was disappointed that it was really only the “losers” who spent all day waiting around for the announcement to be told it wasn’t us. Still, it’s a new scholarship and bugs like these are to be expected. I’m disappointed that I should have spent that time planning my husband’s birthday celebration the next day but instead I allowed myself to be pulled into the anticipation that was abounding in our exciting Skype chats. That was MY choice though. I spent my day waiting and watching for the announcement. 14+ hours in all. Good lesson for me there – don’t you think? Take responsibility for my own actions and my own outcome from those actions. Realize that I am the only one who can prioritize my time in my day moving toward MY desires and goals. Not even the fabulous Me Ra Koh can do that for me. I’M the only one who can decide what is my priority for the day – will it be a focus on the things I can control or waiting for things I can’t? It’s up to ME.
The bottom line here is that you gave all that you had. You gave so, so much to me. Was it perfect? No. Did you do the best you could? Yes. Did you learn and grow? Yes. Did I do the best I could? Yes. Did I learn and grow? Yes. Did God answer my prayers? Yes. Will this year and the overall results of SOAR be a success? YES.
Even though I wasn’t one of those selected, I’m still glad that I did it. I’m proud of myself and you should be proud of yourself too.
On another note, like someone else mentioned, I’ve gone to the Wisdom Connection and attempted to add the gifts to my cart, entered the cc info and hit submit only to get an error. They need to have someone look at the fact that their site apparently won’t process “free” in the checkout process. Thanks! Have a good day with your daughter. That is where your heart should be today.
Me Ra & Brian,
I first want to say thank you for all you do and all you sacrifice to help others. SOAR! is an unbelievable endeavor and what you have done for it is tremendous!
I was stunned and hurt myself when I read your blog today. I understand being upset about not being picked, but to send hurtful emails . . . that is just not right. (Don’t forget what goes around comes around and those people will get their come up-ins.)
You have my support and no matter what happens or what cave you hide in that day remember to come out and take a peak. You have the SOAR! Sisters supporting, encouraging and cheering you on in all you do.
On a side note, please give Pascaline a kiss from me and my son, Gabe, will be thinking of her today.
Thank you again for all you do.
Judith
hey. you know what i would say. deep down you know the truth. we’re with you. take care pascaline! 🙂
[…] things and helping so many people reach their dreams and the people sending you the mean and hurtful emails are just […]
Me Ra, you are an amazing person for making time and sacrifices to put this program together. You didn’t have to, but you did. I’m almost certain that the people who are sending you such hurtful words are doing only that. Spending time trying to find ways to hurt others instead of finding ways to help others. Their loss. They’re dumb. 🙂
I’m sorry that you had to go through such an emotional roller coaster, I hope that you continue feeling better! Thank you for all that you do!
I don’t post much but I have been reading here for a while now. I didn’t enter a video, had some great ideas, but the voice in my head just wouldn’t let me. Don’t have time, not good enough (yet), etc, etc. But because of this SOAR scholarship I told myself this new year will really be a “New” year for me, get out of the box that I hide in. All this to just let you know, what you did here IS a good thing. Don’t let the negative get you down (I know, thats hard to do sometimes). You have an amazing spirit and a great support system, lean on them they can hold you up when you need it. Just believe and listen to all the encouraging post and emails.
And to what Kari (Mamabloo) said… exactly WOW. You really did break through that celing. ;-P <3 Hugs to you!
MeRa,
Thank you for sharing your ups and downs with us all, and I’m sorry that you received hateful emails (that is just horrible!). Your courage has inspired me, not only to have entered this AMAZING scholarship opportunity, but I am even more inspired to follow my dreams. This is a new year, with new adventures, and anything is possible!! Thank you again for your words of encouragement. You rock!! 🙂
To be completely truthful, I think that it was the execution that upset everyone. The winners knew what, a day before the rest of us. So, everyone sat around refreshing and crashing your site only to find out that we were the last to know that none of us won. So then you not only feel devastation, but also deceit in some way.
Does that make sense?
I would have someone screen your emails from now on though, because even though there are 257 others that are devastated, there is no reason for mean comments or rudeness. We all knew from the beginning there would only be 3 chosen… to put others down to make yourself feel better is completely uncalled for.
Remember that courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to move forward through it… For some of us, uploading our videos was you giving us a little bit of your courage to help build our own, for others… they will probably put down their cameras for good. But if it is truly in their hearts, they will keep moving forward even without the assistance of the Soar program.
Best of luck to everyone in 2010, Blessings to all~ and I will keep Pascaline in my thoughts.
I am so sorry, and I had no idea. You knew there would be critics, and you prepared me for this, but I thought you prepared yourself too. I am sorry such a wonderful thing has been overshadowed by negativity and anger and that has made you doubt your vision. Right now, I am half way through your book, Beauty Restored. You have endured so much and overcome so much I have no fear of you walking away from ANYTHING. To me, simply reading this book has been a priceless gift, and is helping in unexpected ways. Simply knowing you is a blessing and I am eternally thankful for that. I am glad not to have seen those angry and hurtful emails, and instead will focus on the huge outpouring of support from those SOAR! sisters who were not recipients, but have had the heart and the strength of character to recognize your good intentions and prepare themselves to move on in this journey, together.
Blessings to you and your family Me Ra. So sad the disappointment of a few seemingly overwhelmed the joy of the majority. This will make you stronger, so rejoice in that. Shame on those who cannot really Soar.
Mera,
My heart goes out to you today. Your post made me think about the scripture that says in Psalm 37:23&24 The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand.
You had a vision to reach out to women and create the Soar experience. You acted on that vision and took the steps to help change lives. There are those few that will try to make you stumble but know that there are many more that are holding out a hand to walk with you. It was the perfect timing for you to have your coaches to talk to, lean on, and trust. They are the ones who truly know your heart. They are so wise and I am hoping I can learn from them also.
I had to remember this scripture for myself this weekend when the recipients were going to be announced. The best thing I did for myself was to walk away from the computer on Friday and spend the day with people I love. I went to my weekly group of moms that I meet with and I spent the evening with our best friends watching a movie. I did check the computer a couple of times to see if anything had been posted. I think for every one it was a time of processing, those that won processing the overwhelming excitement of the journey they are now on, and those of us that did not win processing our personal journey over the last month and where we go from here.
I agree with your coaches to shut yourself off from all comments after something so emotional as the contest. I chose to do this for myself. We already had plans to go away to Orcas Island on Sat. & Sun. so I was completely away from the computer and had some time to tell myself that a month ago I was on a path to becoming a better photographer and have taken steps to do that, (already signed up for the workshop) then came along a little contest so why would I let a contest change my dream and goals.
I was able to get back to what I love about taking photos when I spent the weekend on beautiful Orcas Island and I practiced taking photos of my (annoyed) kids on the ferry ride over. We were going to meet and stay with an author that my husband admires that we had never met before. It was such an amazing weekend to get to know some lovely new people, to have a new experience, and to remember that my steps are order by God also. So I will keep moving forward and pray that my journey will lead me to the success that is meant for me.
Each of us has unique gifts to offer and our journeys will all be different, but it is great to know that we can come together and support one another. This Soar experience has created a community so we can have that support and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening and acting on the vision you had.
Love on your precious Pascaline this week while remembering that is your first calling.
Be kind to yourself, love yourself, and through this blog I have grown to love you too!
In times such as these, I have to remember that everyone is having their own experience here on earth. A lot of the words, actions and beliefs we may not agree with, but can meet with compassion. Soon you can free yourself of their negativity and remind yourself that you can soar, too!!
I have been in the quiet “cave” of renewal for a few months. It has been incredibly rewarding. Be kind with yourself, MeRa. You are genuine and necessary and unique.
Peace to your heart.
L
Me Ra! You ROCK! Seriously anyone that could send hateful emails to you is RIDICULOUS! Toxic people hurt, and that’s just SO uncalled for. What you are doing for women is amazing! Keep on keeping on! 🙂
your honesty and openness will help so many…new to the business and those a bit more seasoned. it’s important to realize that we’re all real people with real feelings.
as for those leaving negative comments, etc., that’s absolutely sad and terrible. i really can’t believe it. i actually think it’s a disgrace that anyone out there would feel they have the right to win. and feel they can bash when they didn’t. i hope that they are embarrassed, as they should be.
know that what you did is an amazing thing. a gift. be proud. and soar. you deserve to be on cloud nine right now. don’t let those negative nancies affect you…or what you’re doing. and remember, what goes around comes around.
all the best,
deb
MeRa as I told my husband this weekend I am so proud of how far I have come and what I have managed to accomplish in the past 3 weeks. I am 8 1/2 almost 9 months pregnant and would have the SOAR scholarship affected my family and me? Of COURSE but I did it to prove to myself that I am worth so much more than I give myself credit. You and Brian have set in motion something that many may have tried in the past and failed because they did not have the support of not just one but many. I think the SOAR groups and forums that are starting to pop up around the country should/seem to be the arms that hare holding you up when you doubt yourself. Why am I currently envisioning Hand Across America except for SOAR believers??? Sorry I digress but that is just what I envision happening with the movement you have started.
In my daily position, I’m met with negativity and disbelievers all the time. Sometimes it’s the customer that I am trying to gain their business and it may even be the person sitting across from me who just complains about their position yet they do noting to change it. It happens everyday and it is hard to not to throw in the towel and say “Peace, I am over this!!!” However, your business coach is correct…sometimes we need to just release the tears and figure out where they are coming from. Once we figure it out, we are aware of the pitfalls/moguls to avoid should the opportunity present it’s self again to take on a similar challenge.
Life is just hard and when you let others in, when you open up your soul it leaves us very exposed and we don’t realize how much. Until the negativity comes, galloping in to knock us over and then we are upset that we didn’t see it coming.
I am sure you have more supporters than you have “haters” (can you tell I have a teen in my house) and even though I have never met you I am amazed what your words have managed to do. Not to just myself but to so many others. It truly confirms that the words we speak can affect one person without our knowledge. Therefore, treat others as we would like to be treated and it will come back tenfold.
I can’t believe that I have typed this much! I had intended to just type a thank you and a bit of encouragement. I guess I am just moved at how much you have moved me to think just a little bit differently this year. I am a firm believer in signs and god, what timing of that dang ceiling!!! I read that as comedic timing because I am sure after ALLLLLLL of what you had just been though, it was god telling you and Brian “You can handle anything that comes your way, even if you are not prepared.”
When your blog updates I literally stop what I am doing at work to read. I guess since I don’t go to church your updates are my “sermon” for the day. So I should get back to work.
Sorry so long but thank you a million times over for all that you have done.
Best regards,
Marcia
MeRa, if it’s any comfort to you, I usually react the same way that you did when you heard/read the negative comments. It’s almost as though those few negative comments override the thousands of positive ones that you’ve received. Everyone takes a chance in life when they step outside the norm and DREAM BIG – it’s the chance that is the scariest. But the fact that we even try in the first place makes us BRAVE! Don’t let negativity make you want to pull back into your cave – like you’re coach said, let it be a resting place to restore your heart – your heart will grow back even bigger and stronger than it was when you started (it’s hard for me to imagine someones heart being any bigger than yours, but that’s what’s so great – our hearts and dreams can be even bigger than what we’ve imaged).
Wow, is all I can say. I just don’t even believe that there are people with the gall to take something as wonderful as what you did, clearly coming from a place of compassion and a desire to help others and respond in such a toxic way. As the previous commenter Christina wrote, how cowardly! While I there are things that I wish had been done differently, there is just no excuse for that kind of behavior.
Take care of yourself and your baby girl this week. I can’t wait to met the recipients, and watch them take flight this week!
MeRa, you have so much strength in you and by sharing this with us you have proved that. You give so much and unfortunately, there will be critics. If you fall, they will tell you why you fell. If you succeed they will find fault in your success. From following your blog for 2 years now I have learned this about you – you give heart and soul in everything you do. You feel our hurt, you feel our triumphs. That is what I admire most about you.
Did I wollow in self pity and cry (into my glass of margarita) that night after learning that I did not win? Bet your bottom dollar I did! =) But then I realized it was not my prize to claim. I hope the others that were malicious in accusations and hurtful emails realize that as well. There are winners and not-winners (I’m trying to teach my boys there are no such thing as losers) in every contest. Does it mean you are a loser? No! It just means you have to work a little harder at what you want to succeed at.
MeRa and Brian – you are good people that I adore and those that are quick to criticize or question your actions and intentions probably have not read your blog posts or know anything about you and what you are accomplishing in empowering women. Love you guys!!!!
PS Take care, Pascaline, we are praying for a pain free surgery and recovery.
I’m so sorry for what you went through this weekend. These same fears you speak of have held me back from taking “a next step” so many times. So thank you for sharing your story – however painful it may have been to put into words after the awful weekend you had to work through – because it’s inspiring to see how you handled it… to know that even those who appear so courageous experience the same fears and disappointments… but to know that if you have the courage to work through those fears in order to help others, we can too. So thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for what you are doing. Not only through the SOAR! scholarship – but even through your daily blog – your photo recipes – your generosity of spirit shines through always. And it is both inspiring and refreshing.
Me Ra:
I echo the words of everyone who has written before me here today and I too am sorry that there were people who felt compelled to lash out at you because of their disappointment. It is a very “small” and pathetic view of the universe to believe that there are only a limited amount of gains out there or to feel that the only way one can feel better about themselves is by bringing someone else down.
Your vulnerability and openess are part of what makes you a good artist and a good human being. Unfortunately I don’t think this will be the end of the “critics”. My hope for you is that you will find a way to gleen what you need and castaway the rest so that these kinds of things hurt less and less.
You are doing AMAZING things. I will always be grateful for what the SOAR! application process sparked in me.
Much love and light to you and your sweet family.
MeRa,
I can’t tell you what it felt like to hear your first words in the post.
It saddens me to think that people can be so heartless & selfish.
I’m glad you have such a great support system and you believe what these strong, good people tell you and not what the few, dark voices say to you in the heat of the moment.
I admire the determination you have to give to other women.
Keep it going MeRa! You’re an inspiration to so many.
I am sorry that people were hateful toward you. Most of the time when people lash out its because of fear and frustration. It wasn’t about you, they lashed out because of how THEY felt, so it was about them.
I am sure that it was how the process finished. I know I had all ready been up 33 hours due to other circumstatances and then stayed up until the announcement was made so I was exhausted, hurt, dissappointed, etc. But to be cruel didn’t even cross my mind. Those of us on the East coast was up pretty late and I didn’t get to sleep in, or take any long showers or care for myself at all over the weekend. I sucked it up, made another plan, re wrote my goals and broke them down and faced it head on. I guess my frustration was I was waiting to see winners names posted. If I had realized that they were all ready picked I would have went to bed. I stayed up all that time to watch other people get something that like other women wanted to badly.
Geez, just making the video had me in tears, I was nervous and emotional and that started the ball rolling because I had never done anything like that before. I stood out in a yard with my cell phone for hours trying to get it right. We were all emotionally invested in this project.
In my video I didn’t say anything about being homeless, and being allowed to stay on the couch of my X husbands home at night. I didn’t mention how the recession took 2 of my jobs and a home. I didn’t mention how hard life is right now, how we had no Christmas, I didn’t want to expose that ugly side of my life, and I surely didn’t want to be considered for such an awesome opportunity because of it. I am sure that the other women who sent in videos who are in the same boat as me, who are loosing their homes and cars, about to be evicted from their apartments, trying to feed their babies and keep them healthy and safe, put every bit of hope and prayer and every fiber of their being into believing that they could win. Maybe that’s where their hurt, fear and frutration came from.
So in closing, maybe we should all be praying for each other, because we are all hurting in some way. You never know what people are going through and the pain they are feeling.
Love and Peace to you all.
Me Ra,
I am truly honored to be part of your life and am always amazed at your strength – even (especially?) when you don’t see it in yourself.
Go Get Em.
jeff
Wow I can’t believe someone would say something hurtful to someone giving something so special. Well Me Ra you have followed your heart, it has been tested, and you have come out on top. You are a stronger braver woman and truly an inspiration.
Ok Ladies! I’ve been on the phone with my coaching clients all day and all of a sudden I open my email and OMG you aren’t able to receive the gifts that we gave with all our heart!! Our webmaster was out of town this weekend (and still is till tonight!) and we thought we’d made it all work on the website for you to sign up at no cost!
Obviously, our great plans went awry. yuck. Another stumbling block in sharing the passion and care in our hearts. Anybody else get frustrated when this happens?
Well, to take Me Ra’s gorgeous advice – We’ll keep working on it. I personally Promise that each of you who emailed us will get a return email with the pdf attached and the call in code for the Wobbles Telecall on Wednesday. by tomorrow. If you want to join in the gifts – send us an email at info@thewisdomconnection.com. I’ll let you know here in the blog when we get it fixed.
Thank you for all the love you share. From this we can create a world and businesses that our children will be proud to inherit. Warmest regards, Karen
Me Ra, your bravery is an inspiration to me every day and it’s changed my life in incredible ways.
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “Thank your enemies (aka negativity) for they are your greatest teachers.”
Sweet Me Ra. I was so saddened to read about your Friday night. I know that the decisions you made were not with a light heart. As my husband and our children said our prayers that night we prayed that people would be kind and loving, and see what great you have done. I am sorry that there were people that could not find the peace that I had found prior to meeting you. Never give up on your purpose, and believe in the road God has put you on. I too take things personally and feel broken by what others say. I must be reminded that the only person I truly need to please is God, and I am sure he is smiling upon you. I am glad you were able to take some time to yourself this weekend, you have done so much for others you deserve it!! I was moved by your entry, and touched with your honest and openness once again. I am almost done with your book “Beauty Restored” and I am even more impressed with you. I encourage anyone that has not read it to get it and read it.
Little Pascaline will be in our prayers, as well as the entire clan. All of our love to you, as you take the time to just be a Mom!!
God Bless!!
Lindsay
Surprised, stunned, saddened … I was even a little heart-broken when I read your post this morning. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised that a few would send hurtful emails after such an intensely emotional contest like this and an announcement that was fraught with technical difficulties. All I can hope is that it was a very few. I believe there are more of us who are so thankful for what you, Brian, your young children (because we know this has taken time away from them too) and everyone else involved with SOAR, has done for us.
As for how the recipients knew before the non-recipients … I think the way you announced it couldn’t have been done any better. You went for the “WOW” factor. Brilliant. I would have done the same. It’s a shame a few technical snags held things up.
MeRa, you open your heart to us, complete strangers, you let us in … you let down your guard and make yourself vulnerable. I think it’s so brave and not something I could do, so my respect for you begins there. And then there’s that whole photography thing that you do.
It was a big step for me to enter my SOAR video … the next part is up to me, but I have to thank you for clearing the path. You might not be holding my hand directly, but through SOAR and the recipients I am confident I will learn to be a better photographer, artist, businesswoman. So I choose to move forward.
I hope you can spend time with your family and that Pascaline recovers quickly. And I want you know that when I said I would pound on your door that I was only joking. I was not, however, joking about the vodka … much love to you.
Dear Me Ra,
I would like to commend you for your incredible generosity. I look forward to watching the progress of these three women who won. I am sorry to hear that you received such mean spirited emails following the announcement last Friday. There will always be people who are not satisfied with the outcome of a contest when they aren’t the winner.
I think some of the anger may have come from frustration and confusion over the rules and who the contest was meant to help. If you decide to do this again you need to be extremely explicit about what you and the judges are looking for in a video and the rules. I also suggest that every point you make in your SOAR! introduction video also be explained in writing because, apparently, having to watch a 6 minute video to find out the requirements 4 minutes into it didn’t work for everyone.
It is never a good idea to change the rules once a contest has begun. It was clearly written the video s submitted be under 2 minutes. I can’t understand why that was changed unless people were complaining and you felt bad. More than one video submission allowed was another thing I didn’t understand. I thought the contest was to help women who did not have the resources to start a business but you encouraged business owners to apply anyway. These are examples of some of the things that may have caused the frustration, confusion and anger felt by some.
I have one more suggestion. The name should be changed to the SOAR! Video Contest. A scholarship is a sum of money or other aid granted to a student, because of merit, need, etc., to pursue his or her studies, whereas a contest is competition, especially one in which entrants perform separately and are rated by judges, for some prize, honor, or advantage. This was a video contest not a scholarship.
Best of luck to you and the winners for the year ahead!
Kind Regards,
William
proud husband of a SOAR! applicant
Dear Me Ra,
You are a light! So many people have said it and I’m so glad. Let me be another one. There are so many more of us (than the negative) who need your honest, shining example!
God has put you in this place because you are amazing; it is amazing to watch Him work through you!
I’ll continue to say this for as long as I live…thank you for the grand and bold way you honored the vision God gave you!
The Armstrongs love you and Brian so much!!!!
For the Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing. Zeph 3:17
Me Ra,
i am so sorry to hear that people responded with such hurtful words after all of the blood, sweat and tears that you put into this. that is never called for. and i am amazed at your generosity and willingness to help us crazy women 🙂 however, i do find truth in a lot of the other comments in regards to things that could have been done to clear up some of the confusion.
one of my best friends was one of the participants, and based on her experience (and even our experience cheering her on!), i agree with some of the feedback…making the requirements very clear, letting the girls know exactly what you’re looking for in an applicant, etc. as creative and awesome as your revealing of the recipients was, we were all a little disappointed to find out that they had been chosen before we all sat on our computers all day long, as stressed as could be! so, just some things to take into consideration in the future.
whatever you do, don’t let what a couple of mean-spirited people say ever make you doubt your passion and calling! i look forward to next year’s contest, and i hope to not only root on my friends, but maybe even enter myself 🙂
thank you for all you do,
jess
Oh my goodness MeRa! You are so amazing!!!! I am so sorry you experienced something like this. You and Brian did everything perfectly! I thought the whole SOAR thing was amazing and was so fun to follow. From someone who totally put myself out there by sending a video, you have taught me to step out of the box. Tammy is teaching a series right now at our ladies bible study titled “Get Out Of the Box”! It teaches all the things that inhibit us from getting out of the boxes in our lives. Some boxes we have placed there ourselves and some that are place by others. You have totally stepped “out of the box” over and over and you expose yourself to others over and over, never knowing what you are going to get back. You are doing what God has called you and Brian to do. You teach others the gifts and talents you have. You give of yourself constantly to all of us. I have always said, God is blessing what you are doing and you are touching many many lives in the process. Please know I am praying for you and you will always have my prayer support!
Love you girl!!!
Love,
Sue
There will always be those who feel the need to hurt others. Every single person who has any thoughts or disgruntled feelings remember no one forced you to read, enter, or comment. We all need to take responsibly of our own actions, words and thoughts. What you put out comes back. I actually feel sorry for those who felt it necessary to be hurtful. Me Ra what you have done and will do is life changing, do not let anyone take one second of your joy away. Only you have the power to give it away or keep it. Pull that JOY in, and bask in it.
Dear Me Ra and Brian,
I found this in something I was reading once:
“Friends of the heart are the ones who really know our song and can really sing it to us when we’ve forgotten it. That’s an African saying that goes on to say that these friends see your beauty when you feel ugly and they see your wholeness when you feel broken and your innocence when you feel guilty and your purpose when you’re confused.”
Through you and your giving heart, there is a whole circle of friends who have been created to see each others’ beauty, wholeness, innocence, and purpose. Not only do you support us, but we support you too.
Please know that there are so many loving and healing thoughts reaching out to you today and always. And to Pascaline, we wish for a quick and painless recovery, sweetie!
I think you are amazing! You are such a charismatic, wonderful person. You are also an amazing writer, and I love to read what you write! I love how you share things about your family! I recently began homeschooling my daughter, and love how you take your kids across the world!
I hope the negative bugs go for a hike. Actually, I hope they get help ~ their worlds must be cold and dark. Seriously???
You are a survivor, and you amaze me! I can’t wait to see you on Oprah!
YOU ROCK, ME RA!
I just have a simple message for you MeRa…”I love you more”. You do not know how much you have encouraged this empty nester to do a new thing. I started a blog because of your inspiration. Sending you hugs, hugs, hugs, and one more big fat squeeeeeze to Brian and your two kiddos! Stay sweet my friend and be encouraged. You did a very good thing. Keep following that Light & Shine On!
MeRa –
Praying for you today that you continue to find healing from God… Regardless of lies being spoken, you have invited us to speak out our dreams… making them real. reminding us that they are worthwhile… and that is such a gift… because with all of us, we have this tendency to let lies and doubt shout louder than the gentle truth that tells us who we are and more importantly, whose we are. Thank you for being you. You are beautiful sister. Your dream for this project and invitation to participate stirred something deep within me that was ready to walk away from my dreams. I think each of your recipients will flourish under your leadership and hopefully, all of our encouragement! I continue to be blessed and floored by your honesty and transparency.
By grace alone,
Christen
Kudos. Way to go in doing something that impacted over 260 women and their families!
How many people do we know in this current economic downturn would extend themselves to call on their business partners and colleagues to create a SCHOLARSHIP that would allow three women to SOAR?
How many people do you know who would put their heart, soul, time and talent to encourage women from across the country to get out of their comfort zone and do something that they believe in and have a passion for?
Me Rah, Brian and everyone put their heart and soul in it not for a selfish reason, but for people that they have not met. They did it because my guess is that someone along the way did it for them and they wanted to pass it on.
So for all those who supported and celebrated in the process, you all are part of the SOAR winners.
For those who want to complain and find fault with the process of the SCHOLARSHIP, you are a part of a new category, SORE losers.
So as you see, the word sounds the same, but it is all in how you look at what has been presented to you and what you do with it. For me, i am appreciative that Me Rah and Brian reminded me that anything is possible.
Thanks for making a difference for so many.
So sad to hear such negativity in this world. The chance that there is even an opportunity to offer this and have people partake, learn, experience, etc. we should all be grateful. It saddens me that people have to be so critical of someone who is trying something new, exciting, and fun to be turned into something so negative. In such a tough economy, we should all redirect and appreciate the positive things in life. Be supportive of those people who won, those people who created such an opportunity, learn from your experience and stay positive. It was explicitly stated that not everyone is going to win so you can’t go into a contest, scholarship, etc. EXPECTING to win, but to believe that you tried your hardest and someone else needs it more than you. Be humble and appreciate all that you have and not all that you don’t because there is always someone who has less than you.
Oh Me Ra…I’m so bummed to hear about the negativity. You and your family are an inspiration to so many and I ditto all the good thoughts, gratefulness and the prayers (both for you and Pascaline).
Additionally, as an applicant I want to share that I’ve seen so much support, friendship, and networking. I’ve “met” so many women that share in both the love for our families and our photography and for that, I also feel like I’ve won. I’m looking forward to experiencing the power of SOAR! throughout the year!
So great to hear your voice continuing to sing out amidst the pain and fear.
Many have ideas of how this could have been done better, some are good to take into account for the future. What I admire is that you took the GIANT RISK of bringing your vision into reality, making the calls, creating the partnerships, contest rules, answering questions, making decision after decision, designing a way to surprise the recipients, all the while thinking of how to have every single woman soar with them. How many of us would even attempt to step out of our homes to offer an item of value to us, risking rejection or criticism? What a wonderful challenge! Go create a scholarship and show everyone how to do it ‘right’!
Always remember your intention was pure hearted from the start. That’s the place to stand and remember. Could the announcement have been done better? Of course! Out of the six hundred ways to announce a scholarship, one was chosen. I’m sure there are at least fifty better ways. And five hundred worse ways. We could use more failures like this. 🙂
I’m so proud to work with such a beautiful heart, spirit and soul – you and Brian both. Where’s those wings? Time to get them out again! Big hugs to Pasc – hope it wasn’t too hard for her.
All who are offering suggestions on how the scholarship could be better…a quick word. When YOU decide to pour YOUR heart and YOUR soul into an event to enrich the lives of others…when YOU decide to give of YOUR time, talents, money, energy, etc…when YOU decide to try to make the dreams of others come true…THEN YOU can call the “scholarship” a “contest”. Then YOU can make the rules the way YOU want them to be. Then YOU can release the information the way YOU want to release the information.
So YOU were frustrated because YOU sat in front of YOUR computer all day (no one made YOU)? YOU thought the information should have been released the way YOU wanted? YOU thought the rules should have been made more clear to YOU?
I hear a whole lot of YOU in your comments. Not a whole bunch about an amazing woman who is doing the best SHE can to touch the lives of complete strangers. Not a whole bunch about an amazing photographer/mother/friend who would give up so much of HER life to try and help YOU.
When someone offers a gift, don’t complain about how it’s given. Say, “Thank YOU”.
Oh, MeRa….I am so sorry! I have tears in my eyes right now thinking of how badly you were made to feel by a few people. Ugh…that’s just rotten! I am pretty sensitive to mean words and I know all too well what horrible feelings you must have felt. I wish I could give you a big hug and thank you for all that you put into SOAR.
I was an applicant, and yes at some point during all this I was discouraged but then I remembered that a few weeks ago I didn’t even know this opportunity existed. And to tell the truth…deep down I knew I wasn’t going to win all along. Not because I wasn’t deserving (because oh, honey…i am!) or worthy but because I knew this wasn’t the path God has designed for me. I was still hoping that MAYBE… But I know that I have every tool I need to have a sucessful photography business is right in front of me. So yesterday I sat down and made a list of things I need to do right away. This contest has jolted me into reality. A reality that says I really CAN do this. I’VE been holding me back. Not a lack of anything…it’s been me.
So I have you to thank for these sisters that I now have who I know will be fighting for their dream this year too.
Your vulnerability and your honesty make you a great leader. I love it! I’m glad for you that you have such a wonderful life partner in Brian…he rocks! And loved seeing your kids at the end of the announcement video 🙂
The gifts are ready for you from The Wisdom Connection. Please enter the special coupon code: ‘ME RA KOH’ to receive your Ignite the Flame ebook download and to sign up for the What to Do When Your Confidence Wobbles TeleClass Wednesday at 12:00 PT. After you sign up you’ll receive the call in number (we need this extra step to prevent “spam/interlopers”)
Please pass the word to your SOAR sisters and everyone in Me Ra’s community. We want to support you all to connect to your wisdom and soar and what a great time to take your next step – the beginning of the second decade of the new millenium!
I was heartbroken when I read this post this morning, like so many others. I can’t bear that the first feedback you got after the excitement of finally getting the announcement out there, was hateful. You’ve given us a huge gift, MeRa! I debated adding my reply here because you’ve gotten a ton of hugs and support already – hopefully FAR more than the negative emails. But then I thought – how much support is too much? Never! 🙂 I wanted you to know what you’ve done for me personally. The morning after the announcement, I started my photography blog. Seems like a small thing, but it was HUGE. I decided that since I don’t have a scholarship in front of me for the next year, I have to DO IT MYSELF. But not alone. There’s now this amazing community to keep me going, answer my questions, tell me I’m doing a great job, and so on. You did that! I’m more hopeful and excited about what’s ahead than I have ever been. Thank you, SO much!
to everyone who is trying to get the free book offered by the wisdom connection…i connected with Karen and she apologized and said she notified the webmaster. she also said we could email her at: info@thewisdomconnection.com to request a copy of the book. thanks!
I too am stunned at the absurdity that some people thought it was okay for them to email you with such negativity. I am truly sorry that there words got to you the way that they did. Please remember that you are an amazing, strong and beautiful woman that has given such strength to not only the 3 winners but many of the women that participated in this contest.
I’m so proud of you for following your dream and putting it into place!
I hope you are doing better this evening and Pascaline is hanging in there with her oral surgery aftermath. OUCH!!!
You’re the bestest!!!!!!!!!!
Tina
Me Ra,
I hate to see you hurting. I remember when Garrett took that photo of you in Stinson, what a wonderful place you were in then. Fresh from Thailand and leading the way of Discovery for us all. That is Truth.
I think more than anything, these emotions that are being dumped on you are misdirected and I am praying that you do not absorb them, that you reflect them off with every light in your being. It’s always hard to hear the should haves, could haves, would haves. And it’s hard not to “win”. But ultimately, this is a journey. And it doesn’t start and stop here. Keep moving forward on YOUR journey, keep doing what you are called to do. That is what encourages and inspires US to do the same. I just wanted to share something my husband sent me today. I think it really gives a clear picture of how misdirected this negativity is toward you. Add tough times with vulnerability and sprinkle in some hopes and dreams and you have a wonderful gift or to some a wonderful disappointment. I tend to believe not everyone knows how to deal with the disappointment and that is in part what you are dealing with today…this too shall pass. Here is the excerpt:
Beware of Your Background Unhappiness
In “A New Earth” Tolle talks about the background unhappiness that most people experience. It’s a general feeling of discontentment, resentment, and irritation that for most people is present almost constantly in the background as they go through their everyday lives. This feeling is fed by unconscious thoughts that go along the following lines:
“There is something that needs to happen in my life before I can be at peace (happy, fulfilled, etc.). And I resent that it hasn’t happened yet.”
“Something happened in the past that should not have happened and I resent that. If that hadn’t happened I would be at peace now.”
Most people are constantly telling themselves stories of how they’ll be at peace at some point in the future once a certain event happens, or when they reach some goal they’ve set for themselves, or if they become this or that.
Sometimes the story is about how they’ll never achieve peace of mind or happiness because of something that happened in the past. Eckhart Tolle adds that people’s stories could all be entitled: “Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now”.
He goes on to say that in order to be happy we have to make peace with the present moment. Eckhart Tolle shares his observation that after two ducks get into a fight they separate and float off in opposite directions. Then they each flap their wings vigorously a few times to get rid of the surplus energy that built up during the fight. After flapping their wings they float on peacefully, as if nothing had happened.
However, if the duck had a human mind, it would probably tell itself a story such as the following:
“I can’t believe he just did that. Who does he think he is? The nerve . . . he has absolutely no consideration of others. He thinks he owns this pond. I’m sure he’s already plotting some new way to annoy me. He’s not getting away with it; I’ll show him.”
The lesson we can learn from the ducks is this: flap your wings. That is, let go of the stories you’re telling yourself and return to the only place of power: the present moment.”
Flap your wings and Soar on! xoxo
Wow, I can’t believe that people were negative after you did such a nice thing. It’s sad that people can be that way. I didn’t submit a video, but was very excited for everyone that did. I wouldn’t waste any time worrying about it Me Ra, you will never please everyone. I don’t even know you, but by reading your blog on a daily basis I can see that you are a very genuine soul with a beautiful gift to share. So many people obviously care for you and your family. Keep up the good work!
Me Ra,
I’m sorry people were ugly to you. I just wanted to say that my first reaction was of hurt. I wanted to know how you picked the three, the teacher in me wanted to know did you use a rubric was there a criteria, etc. Then I went and watched the videos of the three winners and I realized that I had not given my 110%. Their videos were creative, heart warming and they had put their all into them. I knew in my heart that I had not done that and I know I can do better. I thought of the times my students would complain to me about their grades and I would ask them did you really do your very best…did you really spend the time you should have on it. I know in my heart that I didn’t. I am really disappointed in myself because I know I can do better and will next time!!!
thank you so much for giving me this opportunity and learning experience you are a wonderful lady so full of life and love….Keep it up!!
Thanks
Amy
I follow your blog but I admit that I kinda skipped over this whole SOAR thing.
Busy, then sick, then busy-you know typical Holiday craziness!LOL!
What I didn’t skip over was the announcement of SOAR winners.
The laughter, the screaming, the smiles put a smile on my face.
What a great thing!
Then I read your blog about people being negative.
I was so mad, I thought I better NOT comment because I would be too angry towards the negative people.
Now, a little later, I can comment.
YOU ARE GREAT! KEEP DOING NICE THINGS!
And for you (and everyone really)
why if 100 people say nice things we hear only the negative 1.
(Not saying you got only 1 negative Nellie-sounds like you got, well too many)
YOU ARE GREAT! Rewatch the winner video when you need a smile.
Shake off the negative like raindrops,
(even though it sounds like you were in the middle of a flood)
AND THANKS FOR REACHING OUT!
YOU ROCK!
Mia
I feel you Mera, on a smaller scale of course! I have been self sabotaging ever since we got back from Washington and you just gave me the kick in the butt I needed to make some changes and get myself back out there!
I feel like when people think you are important that means your not a human and that they should wail on you like you are a literal business and a person, a beautiful wife and mother and woman with a soul!
I just blogged about whats been going on in my life and used a quote of yours from this post. I feel so much better now! Thanks for being open so I can be open and face life with the vulnerability and honesty that makes me who I am. And if you want to read my post it is here: http://www.crystalgarcia.com/?p=1870
Okay, I’m trying to order the book and I thought it was free…says $12.95 and it’s not the time issue….
Hi Leanne, you just have to enter the coupon code ME RA KOH at checkout. Hope that helps!
P.s. THANK YOU to Me Ra, Karen and Fay for the Wisdom Connection gifts♥
Hi Me RA..
I was so sad to see your blog 2 days ago filled with your pain of the negative responsed you received after the announcement of the SOAR! winners… I have only been aware of you and following you since PDN in October when I heard you and then seeing you were friends with Jeff Jochum from SmugMug ( I adore SmugMug!) Anyway, I didn’t even have the courage to create a video and have only seen the videos that have been posted so far of 2 of the 3 winners, but I wanted to tell you that this whole event has been greatly inspiring and meaningful to me.. I have had a ‘Pricelist’ for People and Pet portrait sessions in my gallery, but unlisted for months because I was too afraid to really allow myself to be a ‘REAL’ photographer. Yesterday I posted. Thank you for encouraging me by encouraging all of these wonderful women who participate with you on your blog. What an amazing group to be aware of…You do more for others than you even can begin to realize. Your effervescent joy of life, people and photography is infectious..thank you so much for sharing all of that with all of us!
Hugs, <3 Hillary
oh dear – jealousy and anger can be so hurtful some times can’t they?
Me Ra – just reading your booka dn feeling blessed in so many ways. I couldn’t apply because I live in The UK and anyway it’s exciting to see so many others enjoying it all. Love it and you rock my friend
Oh my gosh, Me Ra. I would never have thought this contest would generate such pain for you. Geez, you and the SOAR sponsors are doing something great for some women and it amazes me that others feel entitled. But, as your business coach said, this will help you grow. With this experience, you will be in a better place with more knowledge, more insight.
You are great! You are grand! You are fabulous at what you do for all of us blog-stalkers! You inspire the majority of us! You encourage! You’re in a powerful position that there will be people to disagree with you. But not everyone will be pleased regardless of what you do. Just be proud at what you are, in fact, doing. And as long as you have that, the criticism won’t make a difference.
And many thanks to Karen and Fay. I cannot wait to read their book!
Wow! Being a SOAR applicant and being one that did not win….I never had one negative thought about any part of this! It’s amazing to me that people can still find something negative in something so generous and wonderful! I appreciated this opportunity so much even not being one of the chosen. It made the fire in my belly to finally start a business that much stronger and that I am thankful for…..it also introduced me to Me Ra…whose words alone have encouraged me to fight through inner thoughts that have been holding me back from moving forward with my dream. Me Ra..I thank you for all you have done and am sorry you experienced the negativity you did. Congratulations to the women that received this opportunity and I look forward to watching you SOAR on this journey!