It is late Wednesday night and my whole family is tucked away in their beds, and of course here Mommy is writing her Blog.  I would love to tell you it is because I have been relaxing and enjoying the summer, but that is pretty far from the truth.

As I write this I have a wrist brace on and a pillow supporting my tender back.  My summer has been non-stop work of my own making!!  How dumb am I…seriously I have no one to blame for this but myself!!  It was my brilliant idea to rip out our carpet and install all new hardwood floors myself.  And it was my idea to upholster a chair or 2, make a desk, install new trim, tear out sheetrock, install a new wall system, redecorate my kids room, design and decorate my office, get organized, do laundry, clean the house, oooh and start a photography business while still running a design business on the side.  Why should my body be tired?

Well I think it is rebelling at the fact that…

I don’t know if I should be telling you this…since there is a chance my cousin Karli might read it…but my body is feeling really old this week.  I am not sure if its overuse, or purely mental since this Friday will be my 30^th birthday.  That feels really weird to type!!  Now please do not get me wrong…30 is not old!!  Do you hear that Karli!!  In fact I hear that 30 is the new 20 ; ), right?  Now if someone could kindly explain that to my body I would greatly appreciate it!!

So with all that to say I was reading in my Artist’s Way where Julia Cameron writes this…”An artist must have downtime , time to do nothing.”  OOOPS!!  She then goes on to say that without it an artist will feel vexed, angry, and out of sorts.  Hmmm, not sure that I have allowed myself a moment to feel anything.  Darn…that doesn’t sound good either, that sounds like I’m escaping reality.  Perhaps I have been, but let me tell you all of this work will have been worth it when…I’m not really sure when but darn it, it has to be!!

While piling all of this stuff on myself I have learned that my photography is my escape.

I feel guilty and selfish going into my office to work.  I feel bad leaving my kids to play, or my husband to take care of them alone.  But you know what…this is my work, and while I may not be highly paid or sought after just yet…I am still working.

I think that it is hard to see work as something that is pleasing to do, and therefore I think it is difficult for us as women and photographers to feel validated in doing just that.

In chapter 6 Julia Cameron says “Most of us harbor a secret belief that work has to be work and not play, and that anything we really want to do must be considered frivolous and be placed at a distant second.”   I am challenging myself to abort this feeling and notion.  I know that not everyone will understand why I am driven or have chose to do the things that I do, but just because my choices beat to a different drum doesn’t make what I do any less valuable!!  Do any of you feel this way?  How do we demand respect without feeling like we are somehow cheating the system?

Finally…as my last day in my 20’s I am going to think about what my 30’s will hold for me.  Goodness knows my 20’s have been full to the brim with life changing events.  I am so thankful for all that I have learned during this time, and I am so happy I don’t have to do it over again!!  Gosh darn it…they were hard.  I know that my 30’s will not be a walk in the park, and by the time I turn 40 I will be saying “Peace” to my 30’s in much the same way.  As a child I remember my Mom most clearly in her 30’s, and I don’t think as a child I recognized her youth and her beauty, after all she was my Mom ; ).  I wonder if the same will be true of my little girl, does she already think I am old when I myself still feel so young?  Life is so interesting…I am just so happy to have had another year to spend with my family and friends, and what a year it has been!!  Who would have thought last July that I would be writing a Blog… for SOAR!… for my idol ME RA KOH!!!  Life is good!!  Bring on the 30’s!!!

Shine On,

Lindsay

***The images sprinkled throughout my Blog are from two weeks ago on a hot July night I had the pleasure of capturing Josh and Teal in the quaint town of Poulsbo, WA with the help of my beautiful assistant Cherina!!  Over the last two weeks I have have found great joy in editing the engagement photographs of this adorable couple.   They were so much fun to work with and it is my pleasure to give them their first peek at what is to come!!  Happy Thursday  ya’ll!!***

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 6:15 am and is filed under General SOAR! INFO, Lindsay Baumgartner, Working Through the Artist Way. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.